There seems to be a lot of stress around Fuqua lately. The first years are just about fried by the summer internship interview process and are burned out from classes. The second years are stressed out because we are making decisions that will impact the rest of our lives.
Before school, our job and careers didn't really matter. We knew we would one day be returning to school and whatever job we held prior to school was just a bus stop on our journey. Our summer internship, while important, was just a way to postpone the inevitable decision. But now, NOW, we have to decide. And our decision is what will shape our future.
Where will we live? Where will we work? Am I choosing the right path? For some reason, my guy friends aren't as stressed out by these decisions as my girlfriends. Many of the girls feel torn between choosing what we want and what we'll compromise for. In many cases, husbands and wives want different things, but it's our husbands that get a loud voice. I don't see that in relationships where the husband is the student - he seems to make the decision that's best for him (and ultimately, his family). But why are we, as educated and career-driven women, forced to compromise? Why do we feel the angst of doing what is right for the whole family? Why are we the ones brought to tears as we struggle to make the right decision?
Perhaps, despite being as progressive as we'd like to think, we are still bound by an unspoken cultural tie in which the man is the head of the household. That he holds more power. Not that we aren't treated as equals, but we're also not the type of women to stomp our foot and demand that things go our way. Maybe we should. Maybe we're being too passive. Maybe...but I don't forsee any of my girlfriends who are in this situation doing anything differently.
Or maybe we're just trying to be fair to everyone in the relationship. But why does that burden fall on women?
2 comments:
Perhaps I'm being too general with the population at large. My sample size, and my observations, come from Fuqua. I think it's hard when married couples have two competing career goals. Someone has to compromise and I've been seeing that compromising being done more by the women at Fuqua. It's not that their husbands are ignorant or forcing their hand, it's that I think women are more apt to be the ones to cater to their husbands, even if it means taking a career path that they wouldn't have otherwise chosen. And these are strong, professional women...it's just something that I wouldn't have expected. And frankly, I fall into that same category. I'd love to go back to GE and live in CT, but being an attorney, my husband's career options outside of NC are limited, unless he wants to go through the hell of another bar. Therefore, I have to cater. I could stomp my foot and demand he retakes the bar, but I consider that selfish and so I'll compromise and find a career path in NC.
I think the reason I don't see it as much with the male students is that their wives are usually stay at home moms and don't have a career. Therefore, the men have to be the breadwinners and have to make the career moves that is best for him.
Post a Comment