I lead a boring life

Every year, my firm does an off-site, where we spend three days talking about the firm and having fun. And every year there's this tradition where they do "fun" (note the quotation marks) with the new hires from that year. One of them being the game "Three Truths and a Lie". This is the inane game some evil person made up, where you state three truths and a lie about yourself and everyone tries to guess the lie.

I say an evil person made it up because I can't think of one damn interesting thing about me. I lead a very boring life. I haven't done anything spectacular. No drama. No crazy adventure in Tibet. No skydiving over the hills of Kentucky. No chase from the KGB out of Russia. Nothing. Just a little piano. Some travel. And a random meeting with Tammy Faye.

At this same off-site, everyone tells a funny travel story (since we travel a lot). And they award a prize to the best/funniest travel story. Again, not a damn thing interesting has happened while I traveled. No crazy dash for the airplane. No being tagged as a security threat. No parachuting off of a plunging plane.

I got nothing.

Because we love people who make us look normal

How I came across this gem, only God will ever know. I skipped the boring parts and went right for the juice.

From the Wilmington local newspaper, published this weekend:

"At seven o'clock on the evening of July 7, 2007, Crystal D. Ross and Richard E. Cummings, M.D., exchanged wedding vows. The celebration took place at the Hilton Wilmington Riverside, which had been completely transformed into the ruins of a Scottish Chapel. The reception which followed was a masquerage ball set to a "Phantom of the Opera" theme.

A lavish 15-foot archway drenched with red roses was the setting as guests entered the exquisite ceremony chapel desinged to portry the ruins of a Scottish Chapel. The chapel was enveloped with a romantic red glow from a hand-painted sunset on a canvas that stretched the length of the room....

...As the ceremony concluded, a harpist serenaded guests as they made their way onto the concourse which had been transformed into the lobby of a Broadway theatre, complete with a box office...as guests were escorted by ushers through a candlelit labyrinth, their first glimpse of the ballroom was a grand sweeping staircase and the bridal party, adorned with beautiful, hand-designed masks...

...Once all the guests were seated, the bride descended the grand staircase to the dance floor to meet her husband, who was attired in a black cape and mask as in "Phantom of the Opera." The couple entertained their guests by re-enacting scenes from "Phantom of the Opera" to perfection."

You can't make this shit up. Further research (because, let's be honest, researching this is more fun than catching up on celebrity gossip) reveals that her hubby (who was the one in a black cape and mask) is a plastic surgeon. More specifically, a boob doctor.

And because I'm a nosy bitch, I've included a few photos (courtesy of google) for full visual enjoyment.

Not that I'm an expert on the subject, but I'd like to clarify just a few things for the world at large.

Trashy: getting married at a hotel that has been transformed to look like the ruins of a Scottish Chapel.

Classy: Flying your guests to Scotland to get married at the ruins of an ACTUAL Scottish Chapel.

Trashy: Transforming your wedding reception into a Broadway Theatre.

Classy: Going on a date with your husband to an ACTUAL Broadway Theatre.

Trashy: Re-enacting scenes from "The Phantom of the Opera" at your wedding reception.

Classy: No re-enacting any scenes from any musical at your wedding reception.

I could go on, but I think you get the point.