As I was searching through Scott's pant pockets, making sure there wasn't loose change in them before I threw them into the laundry, I found a crumpled, yellow business card. I smoothed it open and on it was written "Get Out of Shopping, Free."
When I questioned Scott about this card, he says it was bestowed upon him on the day we got married. Unbeknownst to me, most guys get one when they get married. While the card is particularly relevant during the Christmas season, it's valid all year round, for any holiday in which gift-buying is necessary.
I've done a little research on the "Get Out of Shopping, Free" card. Apparently, it plays upon the myth that men become helpless after marriage and entitles him to never buy another gift for his mother, father, cousins, in-laws, aunts, uncles, or grandparents ever again. However, it does not relieve him of purchasing gifts for his wife.
Whoever is behind this "Get Out of Shopping, Free" conspiracy should be found and sentenced to year of forced gift-buying for everyone on his family's list for all holidays, birthdays, Mother's Days, Father's Days, and any other Days. Where is my "Get Out of Shopping, Free" card? Or better yet, where is my "Get Out of Cleaning the Apartment, Free" card?
Oh wait, I do have one of those...
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